Holding Space With Dolphins

I believe it was 2013 when I first experienced and wrote this...

"As I paddled my board I thought about the many people that worried about my sanity and safety in proceeding with this trip. Yes, the take down of several really bad men was a bit startling given the proximity to our condo. In making the very informed and conscious decision to not allow our lives to be dictated by fear, I was able to experience this moment in time. Alone. On my board. In the Sea of Cortez.

A creature of habit, I paddled toward the rocks that I often use as my marker for my jog or paddle. Along the way I found myself entering and then surrounded by a big tornado of birds. Soon I was in the eye of that fish feeding bird tornado. I smiled as the visual and audio stimuli fluttering, flying, and splashing all around me did not affect my ability to stay balanced and paddle smoothly. I could feel a difference in the vibration as I paddled through. Almost an anxious type vibration, but it was not my anxiety that I felt. Possibly the reverberations from the enormous pelicans as they hurtled themselves at the water sending a cascade of vibrations in all directions. I wasn't sure.

Not long after emerging from the bird tornado, and not quite to my turnaround destination I caught another movement out of the corner of my eye. Could I be so lucky? Yes. I was. The last time I was here I was blessed to have the experience of a lifetime. I saw dolphins, paddled to them, and watched as they swam around me. It was the absolute most amazing experience ever. Could I really be so fortunate as to get that experience again? I pointed my board in their direction and paddled with all of my might, just in case I was that fortunate. And I was.

As I approached the dolphins I realized that it was a much bigger pod than before. There were so many, and they were playing and jumping and moving in so many directions I couldn't count them. If I had to guess I would say around 20. Surely they knew that I was there. If they wanted to flee they could. And fast. But to my surprise they didn't. I gently dropped to my knees. I know it sounds silly but I wanted them to know that I would not harm them, so without thinking, I centered myself and I started to sing. I know that they communicate with vibration so I thought that would be a gentle way to send loving vibrations to them. Hoping that they would sense that I meant them no harm. They continued to swim all around me. Some venturing off and coming back. I was overcome with wonder and gratitude for what I was witnessing.

There is nothing more spectacular than being surrounded by dolphins playing and swimming. And then a gift within the gift. Two dolphins swimming side by side performed a synchronized jump about 4 feet from my board. And as they did, they made eye contact with me. And, as if that were not enough, they gave me a little dolphin chirp. My heart was melted.

I couldn't believe how much time that they were allowing me to be in their presence. I happily took it all in. I noticed that I was the only person out in the water for miles, let alone in that exact spot. As far as I could see I only shared the sea with a few other shrimping boats that were miles and miles away. Not another soul on earth could see what I was witnessing. It was doubtful that anyone else could even see me. I was alone with this fascinating group of dolphins.

They continued to swim around me. I watched as one swam directly under my board. It was several feet below me but I could see it crystal clear. It is amazing to be on a board only feet above such a large, wild, animal. I felt great respect.

And then I noticed something unusual. One dolphin had an extra, large, bump in front of it's dorsal fin. As it swam near me I noticed another dolphin swam beside her in a way that it's body was between myself and that dolphin. I cautiously and carefully moved toward her. And as I did I realized that that bump was a baby dolphin. I had no idea that dolphins could, or did, carry their young on their backs. To respect this mother and her young I did not go closer. I watched as she swam very near and then by me and made her way away, with her "escort" at her side and her baby on her back.

Overwhelmed by the entire experience I was moved to tears. What a most spectacular, amazing, precious, sacred experience. And without them leaving me, or I leaving them, we made our way in opposite directions. As I paddled back to my family on the distant beach I felt my body shake with excitement for what I had witnessed. I so wished I could have shared the experience with my kids or husband. They were simply too far to go and pick up and then make it back in time to see the dolphins before they were gone.

When I made it back I told my family about my experience and encouraged my husband to take my board and go out. You never know. So he did and was able to see dolphins for the first time himself. It may have been some from the group that I had seen, or possibly another pod entirely, but he was able to see a few for himself.

So last night I researched dolphins carrying their young. To my heartbreak the only information that I was able to find was isolated incidents in which dolphins were spotted carrying their young on their backs when their young had died. It was speculated that the highly intelligent and social creatures sometimes do so as a mourning ritual. And pods merge together to mourn and perform this funeral type ritual. From what I could find this has rarely been seen, but in the instances (in Equador, China, and California) where it was observed, the mother carried her young across her back and in front of her dorsal fin, just as I had observed.

I am no marine biologist. My research was only done online. I would love for someone to tell me that I am wrong. To explain that sometimes this is normal dolphin behavior, as the mother teaches her young to breath or to swim on their own. That is what I was searching for and hoping to find. That is what I would love to hear. If you can tell me that, or if you know someone that is educated in the research of dolphins that can tell me that, please do.

So the sacred event that brought me to my knees and caused tears to flow from my eyes may have been even more sacred than I had realized.

Either way, I am forever changed and grateful for the experience."

Having sat with this experience all of these years I truly believe I was meant to be in that time and place and to bear witness, in order to share with you. I know in my heart that what I saw and was a part of was, in fact, dolphins coming together to mourn the loss of that baby dolphin. To have so many dolphins come together, to swim along with that mother as she held her dead baby on her back, without nudging, just protecting, and swimming along with her, that was the ultimate in holding space. They allowed her to grieve in the timing that she needed and simply were present for her until it was time for her to "let go" in whichever way she needed.

I am so very grateful that one powerful piece of the work that I do (John Barnes Myofascial Release®), is holding space. My job isn't to nudge someone to let go of something, it isn't for me to help speed up timing, it isn't for me to fix, or to do. My job is to be present, to literally hold space so that they can go into whatever they need to, in the timing and way that they need, to hang on, or to let go. All with presence and love.

When I think about the losses that I have personally experienced after seeing these dolphins ceremonial process their own loss, they have given me the path to hold space for myself as well. I am not sure why I was so lucky to be at that exact time and space, to be allowed to be present with them at such an important event, but I was. I hope in writing about it I am honoring them, their intelligence, their community, their wisdom, but most importantly their love.